Teen years are complex, more so when you have been brought up by narcissist parents. According to a recent study, people who were brought up by narcissist parents were more likely to display similar traits such as need for attention, […]
How to know if you were raised by a narcissist
Here are some common red flags:
1) They never admit to their mistake
2) They avoid discussing topics that you find concerning
3) They do not believe in open discussions
4) They expect the best behavior from you at all time and are very unforgiving towards mistakes
5) They quickly blame you for everything that goes wrong
6) They tend to manipulate you into feeling guilty
7) They desire a lot of attention but rarely reciprocate it
8) They care about what others think about them than what you feel
9) They do not give value to your choices
10) They act overbearing and try to get their way in all situations
How to deal with it
To heal from the effect of narcissism, you first need to understand what it means. This will help you recognise signs and help you understand that the blame you have been carrying on your shoulders isn’t your fault.
Learn to create boundaries with your parent. Do not allow them to make you feel guilty about your feelings and stand your ground. They should know your feelings are non-negotiable.
As you understand the narcissist side of your parent, you will feel extreme frustration and a sense of loss. Allow yourself to grieve and heal the inner child.
Seeking professional support is the best way to work through this trauma. They can help you identify triggers and help you with tools to work through them.
How to break the cycle
It is very important that you do not project the same experience and emotions on your child. Allow the child to develop his personality and empower them to identify and embrace their emotions.
But make sure you do not overcompensate. Allow your child to build an identity, while even being away from you.
Some children raised by narcissists turn out to be people pleasers – so set healthy limitations so the child know what’s acceptable and what’s not!